Let’s not pretend. We both KNOW you’re going to waste your entire life away gooning and pumping in front of the screen. So you might as well commit 100%! Take the gooner pledge and promise that you’ll goon, pump, and EDGE for the rest of your sad sexless life. Gooners don’t need to cum. Gooners don’t want the pleasure to ever end. You’ll pledge to pump in an endless goon loop, committed to never cumming. But if you fuck it up and spill that loser load? Don’t worry. I’ll make you promise to lick up every drop. This is your porn addicted fate, gooner!
